It's Hot That You're Healing
On the most underrated, attractive quality
Hello Loves! I’m happy to announce starting next week, audio recordings of all Friday essays will be available to paid subscribers as an added bonus. :) This feels like a no-brainer for me since I stopped doing my podcast. Excited for a additional medium to connect with you! xo Buns
First of all, no matter who you are or where you come from, you need healing.
You could have grown up with parental figures that did everything right: nurtured your authentic self…validated your needs…demonstrated compassionate communication and healthy boundaries…
You still grew up in a culture that perpetuated a narrative you weren’t inherently valuable just for being you.
You still, at one time or another, were put down by someone because they were also raised in a culture that conditioned them to believe the only way to be good enough was to be better than someone else.
You still live in an unhealed world with power hungry politicians, systematic oppression and news feeds of trauma happening all over the world in real time—making it difficult to believe in possibility, to see the humanity in yourself and others and to not go numb.
Healing is more than addressing the past—it’s the practice of awakening to the wholeness inside you in a world that tells you, you are incomplete. It’s the refusal to dehumanize yourself or others because you understand the inherent value of all people. It’s the courage to be vulnerable and honest about your needs and to be accountable for the ways you still need to grow. It’s the willingness to unlearn your toxic conditioning and become a force of love in the world.
Healing is not a goal, it’s a lifelong practice.
And although it is entirely too underrated in our culture at large, it’s your most attractive quality.
Why? Because when you are willing to be on a healing path you are a better friend and a better lover. You are thoughtful about your choices. You do your best to approach relationships from a compassionate lens. You understand that every person comes with their own set of wounds to heal from. You are committed to emotional maturity which empowers you to build intimacy with others. You are interested in authentic connection, not just surrounding yourself with people who will boost your ego.
You are also fun to be around because you appreciate the beauty and joy in small things. You are easy to talk to because you want people to feel seen. You are humble, yet confident enough to care deeply about yourself and to try and learn from your mistakes.
Are you perfect? Absolutely not. But you’re not trying to be perfect. You’re trying to be real. And that is so fucking hot.
Now you might say: “Bunny, the point of healing isn’t to be more attractive to other people!”
To which I would say: