If You Are Trying To Love Yourself, You Already Do
Where do you think the "trying" comes from?
There is nothing worse than thinking you don’t love yourself. I know because I have been there.
But I am here to tell you, you do love yourself, even on the days you think you don’t.
Why?
Because the part of you that says, I don’t love myself is not you. It’s the voice of your wounding and conditioning.
The reason we think self-love is hard to attain is because we have a fundamental misunderstanding of it’s meaning.
The wellness industrial complex has commodified self-love—turning it into another goal to reach in order to be enough. And depending on how “productive” you are in your healing journey, the more likely you are to acquire self-love. So you buy another book, take another course or watch another Self Love In 3 Easy Steps video on Tik Tok hoping to finally love yourself.
But no matter how many books, courses or how-to videos you consume, you still catch yourself in the throws of self-doubt and think, Why can’t I feel confident all the time? Why do I still get insecure? Why can’t I love myself? What is wrong with me?
In your limited perspective, you believe that loving yourself means never having negative thoughts, putting yourself down, or feeling bad about yourself.
You have not separated who you really are from your conditioned thought patterns. You are identifying with those thoughts rather than the awareness of them (Your Higher Self).
There is a voice in your head that is trying to convince you, you are unlovable and therefore cannot possibly love yourself. This is the voice of trauma and toxic cultural conditioning.
Self-love is a state of awareness. When you think you don’t have self-love, it’s because you are not fully conscious of it. It’s like being in a room full of light with a blindfold on, believing only the darkness is real.
How do I know you love yourself? Because if you didn’t there would be no part of you that is uncomfortable with putting yourself down or beating yourself up. There would be no part of you that is remotely interested in improving your life or having loving relationships. There would be no part of you that has goals, dreams, or desires for your future. There would be no part of you that wants joy and inner peace.
How do I know you love yourself? Because every day you are realizing how you want to be treated. Because you are trying not to people please. Because you are learning how to implement boundaries. Because even though healing is hard, you are making the effort.
Everyday you show up for yourself. That is love.
From the time we are thrust into this 3D reality, we have loved ourselves so profoundly and so powerfully we did whatever we needed to do to survive and try to live safe and happy lives.
Love is a state of consciousness. Just because you don’t notice it, doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Turning your self-love journey into another way to feel incomplete is staying trapped in the illusion. You have never not been enough. You have never not loved yourself. You are not your thoughts that tell you, you are unlovable. And your Higher Self has always known that.
Self-love is your natural state.
The path of healing isn’t to “fix” yourself—it is to become more conscious of who you are really are. Going to therapy, reading healing books, taking courses etc. helps you lessen the identification with your wounding.
You don’t need to learn to love yourself, you need to accept you have always loved yourself and stop identifying with the thoughts that tell you otherwise.
When a thought comes into your head that tells you, you are not good enough, I want you to ask yourself,